The Faith to Wait

Hi Everyone!!! 

So sorry it's been a couple weeks since I've sent anything out! Weekly emails are lowkey really hard for me to write, but I'll do it anyway! 

The past couple weeks have been crazy. Transfers happened and I got a new companion! I'm very glad to be out of a trio, duo life is so much better. Anyways we have had some of the weirdest experiences recently. Last Sunday we got preached to in Arabic for like an hour and a half about the Holy Quran. I was SO confused the whole time. I whipped out google translate to try and communicate but it did no good. These people were so nice at first but then things got really weird and uncomfortable and I was trying to be respectful but I was like we gotta go. We've also had a lot of really creepy men fill out referrals to meet with us recently and that is very much not fun. But that's ok. The lessons that we have had were really good. We had a lesson with our friend Becky this last week and we were teaching about the restoration. When I was testifying about Joseph Smith and the First vision, it was like I could physically see Becky feeling the spirit. It wasn't big, like she wasn't crying or anything like that, but it was like I could see her heart being opened to the truths we were sharing with her. It was so special. We also got to go to the temple this week! I love the temple and I will never be able to put into words the peace that being in the Celestial room brings. Everyone should just go to the temple all the time because it is just the best!! 

I don't really want to go into how I'm doing mentally because it will turn into a deep dark spiral and that is no bueno. But to sum it up, I basically feel like I'm drowning in depression and anxiety right now. I am just trying my best to trust that as I continue doing what the Lord needs me to do, and keep my faith in him, then something good will come from all the pain. I'm grateful for this experience - even though it sucks and I lowkey hate my life - I am grateful that I am learning so much about the gospel and about who my savior is. I am also so grateful for everyone who has reached out. God really has blessed me with the most amazing people to be in my life and I am eternally filled with gratitude for that. 

Earlier this week I was listening to Camille N. Johnson's talk "Spiritually Whole in Him". This talk goes into how we can be spiritually whole while we wait for physical and emotional healing. A lot of the time (if not all the time) the healing that we so desire is going to be on the Lord's timing. Luckily for us, despite how broken we may feel, our testimonies are always growing and we can be spiritually whole as we continue to turn to the Lord and wait for that healing part to come. I kinda feel like I'm waiting for that healing part to come. I had the thought the other day though, that having the faith to wait is the miracle we miss most of the time. Sometimes we assume that miracles are just big experiences, but in reality miracles happen between the folds of everyday life, because we have a loving and merciful God. Having the faith to wait for healing is a miracle because it builds a strong foundation of pressing forward despite feeling broken. Then when that healing does come we can understand it and appreciate it way more than we ever would've before. It says a couple different times in 2 Nephi chapter 6 that the people of the Lord are not ashamed to wait for Him. I am not ashamed to wait on the Lord, and I do not doubt Him because I know who he is. I know His love and His promise. So while I wait, I keep going, and like Anna says in Frozen 2, all I can do is the next right thing. 

I love you all so so SO much 💓 have an amazing week for me!