Fireflies

Hello everyone!!! I'm finally here in Kentucky!!!! 🤠🐄🌳🐴

First things first, I'm gonna be honest, this was probably one of the hardest weeks of my life. I could very well be being dramatic, but i feel like it's ok 🤷‍♀️ Anywaysssss when I was getting on the plane to come here, I was like "what the freak am I doing, what am I getting myself into" and tears started welling in my eyes because I was so scared for what lied ahead. I think I held back tears all day until I got to the mission home and, as discreetly as I could, ran to the bathroom and just sobbed. I tried my best to brush it off and act cool but literally everyone knew that I had been crying and I felt like the only one who wasn't over the moon excited to be there. I wanted to want to be there but in that moment all I really wanted to do was go home. BUT don't worry because the Lord granted me a little tender mercy in the form of a firefly!!! We were all standing on the back deck when the fireflies came out and I was just filled with the thought that no matter what, I'd be ok. I've never seen a firefly before and I'd told multiple people about how excited I was to see them. And there they were in that moment✨️ 

I wish I could say that it all went up after that, but I'd be a big fat liar if I did, so here we are. The first day was all orientation stuff and honestly there was so much information that idek what I was taught. Then we met our companions and I'm in a trio again!!! My comps are so nice and have helped me so much throughout the week and I'm so grateful for them!!! Anyways they said we could go get lunch wherever I wanted, which was so kind but I hate choosing where to eat so it was a struggle. We ended up going to five guys and right as we parked the car, the most insane downpour of rain started and we had to run for our lives get inside and I was literally soaked!!!!! Like I might as well of just gotten out of the pool I was ringing so much water out of my hair, but it's ok. After we ate while dripping wet, we ran back through the rain to get to the car and we drove to our apartment. I was freezing but it's so humid here that I got all sticky and gross, so that was just fantastic 🙃  Anywaysssss the rest of that first day was just getting settled in and stuff. The next day we were on the go and planning and doing all the missionary things and I felt SOOOO out of place. I was like what am I even doing here. And I'm just an emotional gal I guess because I had a whole other breakdown because I didn't know how this could be my life. 

Sometimes you really just need a good cry and then you're ready to go. That's what happened, I cried it out and talked through it and then I felt ready to go. It was later this day that we had a lesson with a guy named Tay and he is on date for baptism!!! In his lesson he made a comment about how going to church felt like going home. It was right then that I was filled with so much joy and love, that I knew I could stay here. Seeing someone else start their journey towards Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is such a beautiful thing and being able to have even the tiniest part in it is so rewarding❤️

I'm slowly but surely getting used to being here and I have genuinely found so much joy in the last couple of days. The work can be slow and the days can be long but it is all worth it for that one moment where you get to see a hint of your work blessing other people's lives. 

For my spiritual thoughts today I want to talk about faith and prayer:

If I didn't have faith that God answers prayers, I'd probably be on a plane home right now. I have spent so much time recently praying and asking God for strength and happiness and opportunities to laugh and teach and telling him that I am grateful for the opportunity to be here and that I trust his plan. And I can see that as I have studied and put my best foot forward, he has presented me with those opportunities. Some might say that those moments are a coincidences or that they come from me, but they don't. Ive felt christ stengthen me this week and I'm so grateful. As we put our trust into Him, He puts his strength into us. Prayer is literally is the best thing ever, so pray always and watch the peace and blessings follow!!! 

3 Nephi 18:24 

"Therefore, hold up your light that it may shine unto the world. Behold I am the light which ye shall hold up - that which ye have seen me do. Behold ye see that I have prayed unto the Father, and ye all have witnessed." 

Christ is the light and firefly inside me that I hold onto and am so desperate to share ✨️✨️✨️

LOVE YOU ALL 

sorry for no pics this week, spent too much time crying